


RWvBY

by Bokutosamurai



Category: RWBY, Red vs. Blue
Genre: Blood Gulch Chronicles, Bokutou actually writing something that isn't futanari smut for once, Caboose breaking the fourth wall, Comedy, Crossover, Grif and Simmons banter, Grif shipping Bumblebee, Simmons swatting Bumblebee, The Mongoose, Tucker's pick up lines, Whiterose vs Bumblebee
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-20
Updated: 2017-06-20
Packaged: 2018-11-16 16:10:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11256420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bokutosamurai/pseuds/Bokutosamurai
Summary: An RvB and RWBY crossover, because surely no one's ever thought of doing that before, right?Right? Guys? Anyone? Am I right?





	RWvBY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jesus I’m sorry I’ve been gone, truth is I got burnt out on RWBY and fan fiction both, so whenever I sat down to write, my muse just wasn’t in it. I didn’t have that spark of motivation you know?
> 
> On the bright side, since I was laying low I avoided the admins purge of reported fics, hey did you guys know that some members of the CU claim they don’t want to see stories removed? Yet, the reason why any story is at risk of being taken down is because of them, that’s like if you were my neighbor, and called the police because you found out I was smoking pot, and then telling me not to smoke pot or I’d get arrested.
> 
> And for the record CU, if you’re reading this, the fact stories get removed does not prove that the “admins care”; there are police officers and judges who enforce laws that they don’t agree with after all.  
> It is the admins job to remove reported stories, whether or not they care is 100% irrelevant.
> 
> Anyways, I started randomly thinking about a RvB/RWBY crossover, with the running idea that the characters would make jokes from the other show and things shaped themselves from there.  
> Hope you enjoy!

“Hey.”  
  
“Yes?”  
  
“You ever wonder why we’re here?”  
  
Blake looked to her partner, her face contorted in confusion “It’s a training exercise, we split into pairs and help these marine guys fight each other, we went over this already remember?”  
  
“No I get that,” Yang waved her hands “I meant how did we get on this planet? I’ve never known Remnant to have a strong space program, or any for that matter.”  
  
Blake Bellablinked, that was a good point, “Let’s just not think too hard about that, C’mon we’re almost there.”  
  
The yellow and black pair continued their trek, soon finding themselves on the edge of a cliff, below them was a boxed in canyon, A military structure sat over a dozen meters beneath them. “Think that’s red base?” The faunas asked.  
  
“Probably,” Yang used her hand as a visor and swept her gaze across the grounds, “Hey, maybe those guys in the blue base over there can show us where to go.”  
  
Blake rolled her eyes, “Let’s go meet our comrades.”  


* * *

  
  
On the other side of the canyon, a pair of marines in red armor-one a darker shade and the other a particularly light shade-were doing some reconnaissance. “Do you see them Donut?”  
  
“Oh man....this is not good Simmons, I do not like the look of this at all.”  
  
“What? What is it?” Simmons asked worriedly.  
  
“The older one is just way too white, and after labor day too, that’s just tacky. As for the younger one, I can’t tell if her hair is red with black dye, or black with red tips.” Donut pulled the the reds only pair of binoculars away from his visor, “I do like the red hood though, really brings the whole gothic fairy-tale monster hunter girl look together.”  
  
Simmons let out a deep, long sigh as he looked down and summoned all of his willpower to keep his palm from getting better acquainted with his face, he didn’t want to risk breaking his helmet. “I don’t care for their fashion choices Donut, I wanna know what to expect form them in battle.”  
  
“Oh, that? They’ve got a sniper-scythle and a ravolpier, nothing we can’t handle.” The allegedly lightish red marine started walking back to home base.  
  
“Oh, that’s it? Okay...” Simmons took a step to follow and froze, “Wait, their weapons are what now?”  
  
On the roof of the base below the other girls from Remnant met the people they would call their teammates for the duration of their stay.  
  
“Right, Ruby, Weiss, nice to meetcha’, glad to have you on board.” The light blue soldier stated quickly, “The only rule here is, don’t kill the leader, that’s me.”  
  
Ruby blinked “That’s a rule?”  
“Seem pretty hard to break.” Weiss said.  
  
Church and Tucker looked over to Caboose, who was trying to lick a stain on the outside of his visor from inside his helmet, “You’d be surprised.” Tucker claimed.  
  
“Right, so for our introductions, I’m Church, I’m in charge here, so I’m the one you’re not supposed to kill, the pervert in...Green? Aqua? Turquoise? Whatever the fuck his color is, that’s Tucker.”  
  
“Yo.”  
  
“The idiot is Caboose, and the bigger idiot in yellow downstairs is Sister, and the useless one with her is Doc.” Church finished.  
  
“Is it alright for him to talk about you guys like that?” Ruby asked as she titled her head.  
  
“Oh he’s always like that, you get used to it.” Tucker clarified, “Plus, he’s not wrong.”  
  
“Okay then...” Weiss was starting to regret everything about this, “Well, with introductions out of the way, what is our first order Captain Church?”  
  
“Actually, I’m not a Captain,” Church corrected her “And uh...yeah I guess one of you can accompany me to the ridge, see what the reds are up to, and tell you what you need to know about them, and you can tell me about your pals on their side. Any takers?”  
  
“Ooh! I’ll go.” Ruby skipped forward, “You can tell about that neat sniper rifle on the way.” She chirped, her vision fixated on Church’s weapon.  
  
“Um, yeah...cause I’m totally an expert marksman.” He replied half-nervously and half-sarcastically, thankful his helmet hid the sight of his sweating brow. “Well uh, Weiss, you just get comfortable, We’ll be back in half an hour.” He briskly took the ramp down and Ruby followed behind merrily “Show me where the armory is when I get back, I wanna check out their hardware.” The reaper called back to her teammate.  
  
Weiss let out a sigh, left alone with these idiots while her leader went off to geek out about guns, just great.  
Wondering if it could get any worse she looked over to Caboose, who was still trying to lick the inside of his helmet.  
  
She looked over to Tucker who looked up back after checking out her legs, “You know, you can check out my hardware, bow chicka bow wow.”  
  
Annnd she wanted to slap her past self for agreeing to come here, “Umm...” She took a nervous step backwards, “I’m uh, gonna go...go downstairs and meet the others.” She turned and walked as quickly as she could to get away from them, surely these Sister and Doc guys couldn’t be that bad right?  


* * *

  
  
“....And this here is Blake, Don’t ask about her bow and she’ll be your best friend.”  
  
“Dexter Grif and don’t ask, or expect me to do anything and I’ll be your best friend.” The orange marine replied to the Remnant duo as the door slid open and Simmons and Donut ran inside, “Sorry we’re late,” the maroon marine explained, “Donut wanted to go out with the binoculars, and I figured we could check on the blues.”  
  
“I just wanted to see if they’d make a nice accessory to go with the armor.”  
  
“We’re not too late for introductions are we?”  
  
“Nope, your just in time, I’m Yang and this is Blake.” the blonde repeated herself.  
  
“Oh I just love your hair, who does it?” Donut said  
  
“It’s my own work,” Yang said proudly, “These golden locks are-”  
  
“No I mean the one with the bow, Blake right? In fact your whole color scheme brings out your eyes.”  
  
Yang turned her stunned gaze to the faunas, who did a double take at the pink marine, “Uh, Thank you.”  
  
“Who names a girl Blake anyways?” Grif asked. “Well cause it sounds like black, the people on Remnant are named after colors.” Simmons responded and looked over at the visitors, “I read up all about your planet when command said you were coming,”  
  
“Right, Blake and Yang, the eternal virgin there is Simmons,” Grif interrupted, “And that’s Donut.”  
  
Yang leaned to her side to look past them, out the door they left open, “And the hunk outside working on the jeep?”  
  
Simmons and Grif turned to see the figure in brown armor working as usual on their vehicles.  
  
“Oh, that’s Lopez”  
  
“Hes a robot, so don’t expect to get lucky.”  
  
“Hey, a hunk of metal is still as good as a hunk of guy right? I’m sure we’ll get along if we talk.” Yang shrugged, Grif and Simmons looked at each other. “Yeah...” said the red, “Sure...” said the orange.  
  
“Oh this is just great, we’re getting along and getting to know each other.” Donut exclaimed joyfully. “Now I hate to leave this wonderful meeting, but if you’ll excuse me, it’s time for my daily bubble bath.”  
  
The Pink marine left them, passing by another in red armor int he hall, “Donut, remember to rinse out the tub if you shave your legs.” They said in a gruff southern accent. “Simmons!”  
  
“Y-yes sir?” He replied nervously as his superior approached the group, “Grif I understand, but why aren’t you at post? Our guests from Remnant will be here any moment now. And why are these civilians in the base?”  
  
“Um Sarge, these are the students from Remnant, we were just getting acquainted.”  
  
Sarge looked to the two girls, the blonde one giving him a confident wave and the one in black sizing up the man she would be taking orders from.  
  
“Simmons, I was made to understand that we would be getting two monster-hunters in training, not girl scouts. So unless they kill these ‘grimm’ things with cookies baked with cyanide, I don’t think these two are going to make fine soldiers.”  
  
“Hey! We kick tons of ass back home.” Yang whined, Blake stepped forward with a stink eye, “At least see us in action before you judge you misog-” Yang silenced her with sharp elbow to the side. “Just give us an order, we’ll the blues till their black and blue!” She stated boldly.  
  
Sarge grumbled under his helmet, “Fine then, I guess you two can go...er...Simmons what is that thing when you sweep for mines?”  
  
“Mine sweeping sir.”  
  
“Yeah, mine sweeping, go do that.”  
  
“Are their actually mines out there?” Blake raised an eyebrow.  
  
“You never know with those wily as a coyote blues.” Sarge answered with a nod.  
  
“Do you have a detector or?”  
  
“Detector? Ha! Back in my day we found mines the good old fashioned way; having the new recruits perform acrobatics routines and Easter egg hunts after dousing the location in oil or gasoline, great way for weeding out all the weaklings.”  
  
Blake and Yang looked to each other.  
  
“Grif, Simmons, you’re on post, I gotta' check in with Lopez. Dismissed.” The regulation red marine ran outside.  
  
“He might as well have just told me to take a nap.” Grif stated as he rested his gun on his shoulder and walked lazily to the roof access. Simmons looked to the girls, “Don’t let Sarge get to you, he just hasn’t gotten with the times.” The maroon assured them before following his orange companion.  
  
Yang folded her arms behind her head as Blake let out a pent up sigh, “Well, things are off to an...interesting start. Think Ruby and Weiss have it this bad?” She asked.  
  
Yang hummed softly in thought, “Who knows? Maybe they have it better with the blues.”  
  
Meanwhile...  
  
“Yeah, so like I was saying, if you guys outshine me as the girl in this base, I’m totally gonna say mean stuff about you to the others, like how you’re fat and dumb, and make you cry.” The girl in yellow prattled on and on as the man in purple kept scanning Weiss with his device “You sure you’re not sick? Your body temperature is really low, the last time I saw this the victim was dead from hypothermia...or was it shock from the sudden change in temperature? Could have been the punctured lung and severed jugular now that I think about it.”  
  
Weiss just sat there in silent, brooding fury, her teeth and fist clenched as she prayed to Oum that she could somehow explode and take these two with her.  
  
It was going to be a long stay.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmm...This really could been more active, and I wish I could’ve gotten some actual dialogue out of Caboose, but I figured it was best to just get the first meetings out of the way, things will pick up next chapter.
> 
> So, all of you who follow me, I’m looking more and more into returning to Deviantart and YouTube.  
> On Deviant art I make comics with create.swf which is a Touhou fandom thing, as for Youtube I like to do whatever passes my fancy, mainly lets plays and readings, I’d like to do more like top X lists and reviews and maybe a separate channel for vlogging. Buuuut my lack of money means I suffer from technical limitations, and I’m still new to it. Out of curiosity, would you watch me?


End file.
